Lets Talk About Emotional Intelligence https://reclaiminghopewellness.com

Lets Talk About Emotional Intelligence

Last night, my Hubby and I were watching one of our favorite shows, The Big Bang Theory. If you’ve ever seen the show, I’m sure you’re familiar with Sheldon, the genius scientist who has no social skills whatsoever.

Part of his issue is that he can’t read human emotions at all. This impacts the way he interacts with everyone and as you can imagine, causes some epic misunderstandings.

In last night’s episode, his friend Howard called some friends at MIT who were working on a machine that was supposed to decipher human emotion and indicate what they were feeling using an app. on the phone. Howard talked his friends into allowing Sheldon to beta test it.

The results were predictably hilarious, but it did bring up an interesting point…. How does Emotional Intelligence affect our Social Dimension of Wellness?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer first introduced the theory of Emotional Intelligence (sometimes referred to as Emotional Quotient or EQ) in two journal articles published in 1990. In the words of Dr. Mayer,

Emotional intelligence, as we described it, is the capacity to reason about emotions and emotional information, and of emotions to enhance thought. People with high EI, we believed, could solve a variety of emotion-related problems accurately and quickly. High EI people, for example, can accurately perceive emotions in faces. Such individuals also know how to use emotional episodes in their lives to promote specific types of thinking.

In other words, emotional intelligence allows us to recognize, understand, think about, and manage emotions. This can apply not only to our own emotions, but others’ as well.

What Does Emotional Intelligence Look Like In Practice?

In his article for Inc., Justin Bariso, Founder of Insight, outlines 13 Signs of High Emotional Intelligence. He gives real-life examples of what people with high Emotional Intelligence do, including things such as thinking about feelings, showing authenticity, demonstrating empathy, praising others, and more. Please check out the entire article – you’ll be glad you did!

How Does This Help Us With Our Social Dimension of Wellness?

Emotional Intelligence can affect our Social dimension of  Wellness in several ways:

  • It can help us develop empathy. Being able to put ourselves in others’ shoes can help us know the best way to respond to them. This can be particularly important if we’re in a situation that has the capacity to become confrontational.
  • It can help us consider a situation before reacting to it. When we take a beat before we respond, especially in an emotionally-charged situation, it allows us to calm our emotions and think more rationally. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (NIV) Taking the time to consider what we need to say can help us give that gentle answer.
  • It can help us recognize and deal with our own emotions. When we’re able to constructively process our own emotions and realize what contributes to them, we can interact more positively with others.

As we discussed in Let’s Talk About Social Wellness, part of social wellness is the ability to interact with the people around us. Using Emotional Intelligence can help us figure out the best ways to interact with and support others, and form those meaningful relationships that are so important to our overall wellness.

How’s Your Emotional Intelligence?

Are you curious about your Emotional Intelligence? If so, I found a couple of tests you can take online. The first one consists of situational questions, and the second one tests how well you read facial expressions. I don’t know how accurate the results will be – remember, there are lots of things that can affect your scores with these kinds of tests – but they were quite interesting.

Emotional Intelligence Test


Test Your Emotional Intelligence  


Are you familiar with the theory of Emotional Intelligence? Have you found it helpful in improving your Social dimension of Wellness? Please share!








    1. I had the opposite results Brigid. 😊 I did much better on the first one than the second. Thanks for checking it out!

    1. Thanks for checking it out V.J.. It was an interesting quiz, wasn’t it? I found a couple more, but you had to pay to get the results for some of them so I didn’t include them.

  1. This takes me back to my Psych degree… I love this sort of stuff! I quite like the idea of revisiting again, so thanks for the links – I’ve bookmarked this to give a test a go this afternoon. As I’ve grown older, however, I do wonder whether high EI can be somewhat damaging in some cases. For instance, I find being very self-reflective can result in me just being a chronic overthinker, being empathic can lead to me always worrying about others even at a detriment to myself, and I know I’m not alone in these kinds of issues. It’s all about balance, but sometimes what can be beneficial and helpful to us can also have the potential to be a little detrimental, too. Another interesting post, Terri! xx

    1. You make some great points about high EI having the potential to be damaging Caz. It really can be a double-edged sword, can’t it? One of the things I also read was that high-EI people could use their ability to manipulate people also. I think it’s just like many other things — it has the potential to really help us, but it can also hurt us if we’re not careful. It’s all in how we use it. I can completely relate with both things you’re saying about how it can negatively affect you; I’ve had the same experience sometimes. As you said, it’s all about balance. I hope you enjoy the tests. Sending hugs!

  2. This takes me back to my university days in Psyc! With taking different theories & tests 😉
    We don’t use these in therapy though only as background research findings as they can be problematic in practice.
    Well presented post Terri 😀

    1. Thanks Jennifer! Glad I could take you back to university days – makes you feel young, doesn’t it?😁 Just kidding – I know you’re still young. Hope Hubby is still coming along well in his recovery.

    1. Thank you so much! You know, I hadn’t thought about our EI fluctuating with our health, but it really makes sense that it could…. I know on days when I’m in a flare or my Fibro Fog is really kicking in, I’m not as observant, and therefore probably don’t pick up on some of those social cues. Thanks for bringing up a great point. Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend!

      1. Yeah, we’re definitely on the same page. I definitely want to think on this more and write about it. I just might riff off of your post via reblog if I can find the time soon. I am having a good weekend. Hope you are, too. Thanks. xx

    1. Thank you for your kind comment! Sorry for the delayed reply – I’ll be sure to check out your post soon. Blessings to you!

  3. Terri, this was a fantastic post and it must have taken a lot of time and effort! I found it really interesting as I’d consider myself to have a pretty good level of EI, in saying that I did really well on the first test and slightly above average on the second but in the heat of the moment, in real life I’m still learning to pause before I react!

    1. Thank you so much Marie! I’m so sorry for the late reply; I’ve been out of town again. These tests are interesting, aren’t they? I find that knowing and doing can be two different things – like you, I know I should take that pause before reacting, but what I know can completely go out the window when something upsets me. I hope you’re doing well, sweet friend. I’m looking forward to getting caught up with you this week!

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