Page of book with the word Motivation in bold with text overlay: Why Do I Have Such A Hard Time Staying Motivated?

Why Do I Have Such A Hard Time Staying Motivated?

Why do I have such a hard time staying motivated? I know I need to…. (stop smoking, lose weight, eat better…. you fill in the blank). I started out well but I just can’t seem to stick with it…. Have you ever been there?

So many of us have felt like failures when we weren’t able to change our wellness behaviors. Even more of us have beat ourselves up because we thought we just weren’t motivated enough.

There are things we can do to increase our motivation, but sometimes, motivation just isn’t enough.

Today we’re going to take a look at what motivation is and its impact on behavior change. Next week, we’ll talk about what to do when motivation just isn’t enough.

What is motivation? (1) defines motivation as “the state or condition of being motivated or having a strong reason to act or accomplish something.” Psychology Today (2) defines it as “the desire to act in service of a goal.” As Beata Souders says in her article What Is Motivation? A Psychologist Explains, “motivation is a condition inside us that desires a change, either in the self or the environment.

With all this having a strong reason and desire to change, you’d think it would be easy to stay motivated, wouldn’t you?

The problem is, motivation is unreliable. We can start out feeling highly motivated, ready to take on the world, but motivation can wax and wane.

Sunrise with birds in foreground with text overlay: "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." Jim Ryun

What can impact motivation?

There are quite a few things that can impact our motivation, but here are a few of the most common culprits:

  • The goal or task is not specific enough. Sometimes we set goals we think are meaningful, but later realize that they don’t really outline exactly what we need to do, when we need to do it, or how we measure whether we’ve been successful. Setting SMART goals can help us avoid this particular roadblock.
  • The task is too difficult or too easy. If we don’t challenge ourselves enough, or if we challenge ourselves too much, we can quickly lose motivation to continue. In his book Atomic Habits (4), James Clear talks about the Goldilocks Rule. This rule “states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right.” Sometimes we have to do tasks that are, well, frankly, boring. When that’s the case, tackling those things first can help us go ahead and get them done and out of the way.
  • A lack of confidence. Does anyone else struggle with this? If we don’t feel confident in our abilities, it can seem easier to just give up rather than press on when we encounter difficulties. We may feel motivated, but get stuck when it comes to taking action. Sometimes, the best cure for that is to just go ahead and take the first step.
  • Perfectionism. So many of us feel we have to do things perfectly, but that can quickly derail us. Sometimes we have to get into the mindset that ‘good enough is good enough.’
  • Depression. Because it’s sometimes hard to sustain interest over any length of time when we’re depressed, we may feel unmotivated. Obviously, if we’re dealing with depression, we need to seek help in dealing with the depression itself. When it comes to our wellness goals, this might be one of those times when motivation just isn’t enough. We may feel motivated to make changes, but feel incapable of actually taking any action.

With so many variables that can affect motivation, is it any wonder we have a hard time getting and staying motivated?

Although motivation is vital to helping us take steps toward a healthier, more fulfilling life, it’s only one piece of the puzzle. In his book Tiny Habits (5), BJ Fogg says,

Here’s the unfortunate thing — most people believe motivation is the true engine of behavior change. Words like ‘rewards’ and ‘incentives’ get thrown around with such regularity that most people think you can create whatever habits you want if you find the right carrot to dangle in front of yourself. This kind of thinking is understandable, but it also happens to be wrong.

BJ Fogg, PhD

So if you’re one of the many people who have been beating yourself up because you just ‘didn’t have enough motivation’ to make changes to improve your wellness, it’s time to stop it! Sometimes motivation just isn’t enough.

Next Monday, we’ll take a look at what we can do to increase our chances of being successful with wellness changes without depending solely on motivation.

Have you ever wrestled with a lack of motivation? What are the things that seem to affect your motivation the most? Please share!



See Part 2 – When Motivation Isn’t Enough – Here:





(4) Atomic Habits, 2018; James Clear; Penguin Random House UK; London

(5) Tiny Habits, 2020; BJ Fogg, PhD; Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing; New York

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  1. Thank you Terri. Great post. I agree motivation gets me started but that doesn’t mean it will make me finish. Deadlines were the motivator at work. Now that I’m retired I make my own deadlines but that doesn’t help w my exercise goals. Would love to get back to the habit of exercising. Look forward to your next blog.

    1. Thank you so much Sarah! My husband and I were just talking today about how we seem to need a ‘forcing function’ like deadlines or a concrete goal to help us get and stay motivated. Getting into the exercise habit seems to be a struggle for a lot of us, but I hope some of the things I share next week will help. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment. Blessings to you!

  2. We do need to identify the stumbling blocks on our motivation paths Terri, it’s always good to identify, work on a solution & address the situation head on. 😉 thank you!

    1. Thanks so much for sharing Jennifer! You’re so right – we definitely need to identify our stumbling blocks. That’s the only way we can turn them into stepping stones. Blessings to you sweet friend!

  3. Mast cell reactions definitely affect my motivation. Inflammation can cause me to feel fatigued and apathetic. I try to focus on figuring out the trigger and resting vs. pushing through the reaction. And I always try to make the most of the times I feel good! There is interesting research on motivation and histamine. I think this is why I am so goal oriented.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing Keeya! You make such a wonderful point that there can be physical reasons (such as you Mast Cell reactions) that can affect motivation. I think it’s important that people understand that motivation can be affected by many things, and that a lack of motivation does NOT equal failure. I’ll have to check out the research on histamine and motivation – thanks for mentioning it. Blessings to you!

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